In many countries, more and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Many high school
students
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are competing for seats in their
further
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studies.
This
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essay will analyse the main reasons behind
this
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phenomenon.
While
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there are a few negative aspects to
this
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situation, I believe it is a positive development. There are many key reasons why entrance to universities is becoming challenging.
Firstly
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, the number of high school graduates entering universities is rising steadily.
For example
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, in Australia, a significant portion of high school aspirants are commencing their higher education courses at universities.
Apart from
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this
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, many educational institutions are giving admissions only to talented
students
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.
Consequently
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, more people can apply with ease via the internet from any part of the world.
This
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is a positive development because scholars can plan well in advance for getting their spot at the educational institution of their choice.
This
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stance
also
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encourages aspirants to make more efforts to attain higher grades in their studies.
For instance
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, many educators are working hard to get their spot at Western Sydney University, which provides education to more than 40,000
students
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yearly from across the globe.
However
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,
this
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competition leads to stress among
students
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, which is negatively impacting student performance in their studies.
This
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situation sometimes contributes to suicide. As the competition increases, scholars are always looking to get admission to colleges where admission is difficult. They respond to
this
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situation by applying to more colleges to increase their chances of success, which ends up negatively. In conclusion, there are many reasons for the increasing competition for academy entrance.
Although
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it has a few disadvantages, it is advantageous for
students
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in the long run.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention Australia and Western Sydney University, adding data or statistics can enhance credibility.
coherence and cohesion
Try to develop your ideas further in each paragraph. For example, the second paragraph could include more detailed explanations of how internet applications assist in the university admission process.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by elaborating on both the positive and negative aspects of the competition. While you indicate stress leads to negative outcomes, discussing possible solutions might strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is an essential requirement.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulates your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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