IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today’s fast-paced era, the trend of semi-prepared
meals
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 has gained immense popularity in contemporary society, making individuals' lives easier in
this
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 busy world.
Although
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 it offers numerous benefits, it poses some drawbacks too.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of convenience foods. ​
Firstly
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, one primary advantage of convenience foods is that it doesn’t require special cooking skills and is less time-consuming as compared to freshly prepared food.
For example
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, a recent survey of a supermarket revealed surprising outcomes, stating that 85% of buyers had pre-made
meals
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 in their baskets,
due to
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 the fact that it helped them save almost an hour in which they could relax or do some other activity.
Secondly
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, these
meals
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 are often delicious,
thus
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 enhancing palatability and appetite.
Additionally
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, many youngsters are of the opinion that they find
such
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meals
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 more appealing and enjoyable than items like fruits and vegetables, thereby preferring them routinely. ​
However
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, preserved foods present several cons, as their overconsumption leads to serious illnesses
such
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 as obesity and hypertension.
For instance
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, an article published by a dietitian revealed that ready-to-eat
meals
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, when consumed excessively, cause medical complications like stroke, ischemic heart diseases, and kidney problems, especially in older age, as they are deficient in essential nutrients and
also
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 lack vitamins and minerals necessary for one’s normal growth and development,
hence
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 leading to health-related issues. ​To recapitulate, in my perspective, the demerits of pre-made
meals
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 clearly outweigh their merits. They may be time-friendly, but it comes at the cost of one’s health;
therefore
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, they shouldn’t be eaten on a regular basis.

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task achievement
Try to provide a slightly more balanced discussion by addressing the drawbacks of convenience foods in more depth, perhaps by discussing possible solutions or health alternatives.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a few more linking words or phrases to connect ideas better, especially in the body paragraphs.
content
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents the thesis statement effectively, stating the aim of the essay.
content
Your examples are relevant and help to reinforce your points, particularly the survey about pre-made meals and their consequences on health.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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