IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

You are a student at your local college. The school is considering offering health insurance to all its students. this would include 50 % coverage of dental, vision, and prescription drugs. If the school decides to omplement this plan, $100 would be addes to each students fees every semester. which option do you prefer? Explain your choice? option A Approve the plan Option B Reject the plan

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Personally, I think the college should implement a health
insurance
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plan
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. No doubt, it would cost a little bit extra every semester, but it would definitely benefit them throughout their studies. Most of the students need health care coverage because they are not working. Without
insurance
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, many of them cannot afford
high
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the high
show examples
 cost of dental, vision and prescription drugs.
For example
Linking Words
, a root canal can easily cost $500, with the
insurance
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, it would only cost them $250. Another reason why the
plan
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 should be approved is because it offers the cheapest possible prices for the students. private companies do not offer rates that are cheap for individuals.
For example
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, Sunlife
insurance
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 charge $50 per month for
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 just for a basic
plan
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,
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 would be twice as much as
college
Correct article usage
a college
show examples
plan
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.
According to
Linking Words
 these reasons and my perspective,
Use synonyms
plan
Add an article
the plan
a plan
show examples
 should be approved, so that all can take benefits without breaking the bank. Again,
this
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 is my personal opinion, but I will support whatever the college
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
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 to do. I appreciate the opportunity to provide input on
this
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 issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider creating clearer paragraphs for each point you discuss. This enhances readability and improves overall structure.
task achievement
Make sure to include a stronger conclusion that reinforces your main points and restates your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar, as small errors can affect clarity. For instance, 'thet' should be 'that' and 'plan' should be 'the plan'.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your argument, which is important for a persuasive essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your stance is clear from the beginning, which helps to guide the reader's understanding of your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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