IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

THE PERCENTAGEOF A DRUG COMPANY 'S TOTAL SALES, BY REGION, FROM 2002 TO 2006.

ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 THE CHART SHOWS THE
PERCENTAGEOF
Correct your spelling
PERCENTAGE OF
 A
DRUG
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COMPANY
Use synonyms
 'S TOTAL SALES, BY REGION, FROM 2002 TO 2006. The
percentage
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 of a
drug
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company
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's
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 in
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
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start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 at 25% to 40% , from 2002 to 2006 ,
in
Change preposition
apply
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2002 about 25%, followed by
small
Add an article
a small
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 increase to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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about 30% in 2003, until to be about 40% in 2006. regarding the
percentage
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 of a
drug
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
's
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 in
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
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, from 2002 till 2004. the
percentage
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start
Wrong verb form
started
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 at 34% until 38% ,followed by a drop fall to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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about 34% in 2005 and it
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to be around 30%. the
america
Change the capitalization
America
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percentage
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 of a
drug
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company
Use synonyms
's
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
, start in 2002
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 41% followed by a drop fall to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around 35% in 2003 , and the drop
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 in 2004 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
about 27% , followed by a small increase
29
Change preposition
of 29
show examples
% in 2005 ,the
percentage
Use synonyms
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 in increase to be 30% in 2006 .
overall
Linking Words
 THE CHART SHOWS THE
PERCENTAGEOF
Correct your spelling
PERCENTAGE OF
 A
DRUG
Use synonyms
COMPANY
Use synonyms
 'S TOTAL SALES, BY REGION, FROM 2002 TO 2006.

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task response
The introduction can be more clearly defined. Instead of repeating the chart's title, summarize what the data represents in your own words. It helps set the stage for your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance cohesion, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your writing flow better and help the reader follow your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you are using consistent tenses throughout your writing. Describing trends typically requires the past tense, given the time frame presented in the data.
task response
Be careful with the precision of your words. Instead of 'drop fall', use 'decline' or 'decrease' for clarity and accuracy.
task response
Consider giving a more balanced overview of the percentage changes instead of focusing heavily on singular regions. Try to compare regions directly when discussing their sales percentages.
task response
You provided a clear breakdown of the percentage changes in different regions over the specified years, which is a clear strength in your task response.
coherence and cohesion
The structured approach to discussing each region separately provides clarity and shows a methodical analysis of the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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