IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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We are living in
the
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a
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 world of
the
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apply
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constant
news
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 flow, both, positive and negative, it has a certain impact on
the
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human lives. Each of us perceives the world from his/her point of view,
therefore
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, when you read the media lines, it is your choice on what to focus
and
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on and
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 how to react. I am inclined to believe, that every person, older than 18 years, should be always up-to-date with basic facts which are taking place in his/her city and country. It is meant, not only the political
news
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,
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 but the
information
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 necessary for living in the hometown. Of course, from the very childhood, parents should teach their children how to filter
the
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apply
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information
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, to highlight only the most important
one
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ones
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.
However
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, there are some risks
for
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to
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the
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apply
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people's mental health and emotional stability, which we can predict in most cases. I strongly believe that, if the person is well-teached and prepared for
the
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real life, it will be easier for him/her to deal with the informational flow and routine tasks.
For instance
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, in Dubai, the
authoruties
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authorities
prohibited
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are prohibited
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to share
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from sharing
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the
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apply
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information
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 about
the
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car accidents in the city.
Doing
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In doing
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 so, the problem of the huge traffic and high speed on the Arabic highways is not resolved.
Moreover
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, people might be stuck in
the
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traffic
jam
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jams
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, because they have chosen the road and were not aware of the accident
had
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that had
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 happened there.
To sum up
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,
the
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apply
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total informational isolation is not the best way out
in
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of
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this
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 situation. Each person should find the best solution individually. I prefer reading one local
news
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 channel online and,
additionally
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, two more global, with the
information
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 concerning our country and the worldwide
news
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. It is not the time now to stay aside, it is time to create better
news
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 and better history!

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating your position on whether the trend is harmful or not. A stronger thesis statement would help guide the reader throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to your main argument. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
While your example about Dubai is relevant, provide more context or explanation about how it supports your argument. This would enhance the depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the overall quality of the essay. This will also help in achieving a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the importance of being informed and the potential risks associated with negative news. This shows critical thinking and awareness of the issue at hand.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pessimistic outlook
  • exposed to negative news
  • stress and anxiety
  • success stories
  • balanced reporting
  • well-informed public
  • rational decisions
  • sense of helplessness
  • apathy
  • skew public perception
  • mistrust in institutions
  • enhance well-being
  • mental health
  • manipulate public opinion
  • serve specific agendas
What to do next:
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