While some argue that low-risk investments offer greater financial security and stable returns, others believe that taking risks in volatile markets can lead to substantial financial gains.”

It is argued that low-risk
investments
Use synonyms
are useful for future planning.
While
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others believe that
risky-
Correct your spelling
risky investments
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investments
Use synonyms
have great potential.
This
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essay agrees that free-risk
investments
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can provide financial
secuirty
Correct your spelling
security
due to
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their stability and predictability throughout the years. Long-term
investments
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plays
Change the verb form
play
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an important role in everyone's future. Opening a
saving
Replace the word
savings
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bank account is the best way to obtain financial freedom because of the
satble
Correct your spelling
stable
income and less risk
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
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. By saving the required amount
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
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basis a person will be able to predict the outcomes in the future and live without any concerns.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
will be encouraged to be more committed and responsible in dealing with their money.
For example
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, Gulf International
bank
Capitalize word
Bank
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has reported that 80% of
people
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tend to rely on their savings account only to build their dream house. Even though, some
people
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believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that risky
investments
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more likely to provide huge rewards. I believe that investing in stock stores will lead to a huge loss because of the
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
of the financial market and world economy.
This
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is to say that buying an expensive stock will not
garauntee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
gains in
long
Add an article
a long
the long
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period of time.
As a result
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, many
people
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will feel disappointed
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
their wasted time and effort.
For instance
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, in 2010 the world witnessed a huge decrease in the stock market which resulted in
damag
Correct your spelling
damage
many
Change preposition
to many
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business
Change to a plural noun
businesses
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as well as
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financial leaders.
To conclude
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,
While
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many men and women would prefer high-risk
investments
Use synonyms
,
this
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essay believes that less-risk investment is a better choice because of the safety and security factors that are important to everyone.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines the main arguments you will discuss in the essay.
coherence
Work on the organization of your ideas to maintain a clear and logical flow between paragraphs and within them.
coherence
Avoid using phrases like 'While others believe'; instead, use 'While some believe...' for clarity.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors like 'beautiful' instead of 'damag'.
examples
You provided a relevant example regarding savings accounts and building a dream house, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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