IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In many countries,university
students
Use synonyms
 either live at
home
Use synonyms
 or move to another city to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their education.
While
Linking Words
 staying at
home
Use synonyms
 offers some
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
, I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of living away from
parents
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages. One of the most
siginificant
Correct your spelling
significant
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
to stay
Change preposition
of staying
show examples
 away from
home
Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
is making
show examples
 them responsible.
Students
Use synonyms
 can develop their ability
of managing
Replace the preposition
to manage
show examples
 finances,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,
cooking
Correct word choice
and cooking
show examples
 and can
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapt to all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of circumstances and situations .
Additionally
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, education facilities and standards provided by the
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
 in the urban will be the key for the
students
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 to their success.
For instance
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, universities in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 , UK and
australia
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Australia
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 quality and huge job
opputunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
show examples
 number of courses than their
home
Use synonyms
 town .I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
 phase will have a positive impact on their professional and personal lives.
Moreover
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,
students
Use synonyms
 who reside away from
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 might get to know their value and their importance in their whole life. Some youngsters think that their
parents
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 are strict and
doesnt
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
 allow them to spend on more unnecessary things .
For example
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, my nephew always blames his
parents
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 for not letting him
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
buy his favourites but now he
got to know
Verb problem
knows
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how important it is to save and manage money and to keep control of
our
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 mind as he
went to
Wrong verb form
goes
show examples
 abroad for his graduation.
Hence
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,
far
Add a missing verb
being far
show examples
 from
home
Use synonyms
 will redefine
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 perspective on our
parents
Use synonyms
 and get to know their value.
However
Linking Words
, Some
students
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 who stay away may get
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 by friends in a bad way and
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 attracted to
wrong doings
Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
show examples
. Young people easily tend to get impact on them and
due to
Linking Words
 lack of attention from
Use synonyms
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 may lead to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of their future.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the surveys conducted on the
students
Use synonyms
proves
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
 that many of them directing
themshevels
Correct your spelling
themselves
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong direction by getting addictions to smoking , drinking and drugs. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
parents
Use synonyms
 or
gaurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to keep
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 eye on their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 living with
parents
Use synonyms
 will have a controlled life, the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 benefits of staying on their own will nourish them and make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stnd
Correct your spelling
stand
send
 on their own legs.
Therfeore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 clearly outweigh the disadvantages for many graduates.

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general
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from clarity.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more cohesive devices (e.g., transition words) between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your points further and provide more thorough explanations or examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and provided a structured argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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