IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution to these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is obvious that increasing
technology
Use synonyms
 is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. But some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that everybody can solve these
problems
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own way,
while
Linking Words
 others think that just
technology
Use synonyms
 can solve these
problems
Use synonyms
. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 every
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to protect and take care environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 do not care about nature
then
Linking Words
 they destroy it.
However
Linking Words
 it is very simple, if they teach
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
nature
Change preposition
of nature
show examples
 or
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 children from their childhood, it will not happen.
Non development
Add a hyphen
Non-development
show examples
 countries, especially when they have a lot of population, they exposed
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 environmental
problems
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as pollution
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
,
solid
Fix the agreement mistake
solids
show examples
 and
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, African countries, like
Somali
Correct your spelling
Somalia
show examples
, Uganda etc. suffer from these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
problems
Use synonyms
 and every year
deid
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a lot of
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Technology
Use synonyms
 is increasing day by day and of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 it has both advantages and disadvantages same time. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 higher than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. So
technology
Use synonyms
capable
Add a missing verb
is capable
show examples
to solve
Change preposition
of solving
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 more quickly and
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can get rid of some sort of
pollition
Correct your spelling
pollution
 only
helping
Change preposition
by helping
show examples
 with
technology
Use synonyms
. European
develeopment
Correct your spelling
development
 countries
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
 solving environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 exactly with higher
techlonogy
Correct your spelling
technology
. The reason is that they always to propagate protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and prepare plenty of projects about environmental issues. In conclusion, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that both of
view
Correct pronoun usage
our view
show examples
is need
Change the verb form
is needed
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our World and we try to protect our
environmetn
Correct your spelling
environment
 anyway.

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coherence
Revise your thesis statement to clearly present the two opposing views. Consider using connecting words or phrases to enhance the logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that you elaborate on your arguments with more specific details and examples, which will help strengthen your points.
language proficiency
Use more varied vocabulary and grammar structures to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which is a key requirement of the task.
task achievement
Your essay includes some relevant examples, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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