Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays,
children
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tend to play with their smartphones for several
hours
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every day. In
this
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essay, I will examine
this
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phenomenon and strive to analyze the reasons behind it,
as well as
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its positive or negative effects. From my point of view, the main reason why
children
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spend
hours
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playing with smartphones is the lack of parental company. Most
parents
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today are busy working, having little time and energy to play with their kids—especially after a whole day’s intensive work. As a way to compensate, smartphones are bought to amuse
children
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, which greatly minimizes adults’ energy spent on playing games with them. Research from EV discovered that 10% of
parents
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are heavily occupied by their jobs, and 50% of them have bought a phone for their kids.
However
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, the deepest desire of
children
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is usually neglected. What they need is not access to the internet, but the attention and care from
parents
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, which is undoubtedly irreplaceable. I am convinced that
this
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is generally a negative development.
While
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it is true that
children
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can be inspired or learn something new online through their phones, there is
also
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too much information that can hinder their development.
Due to
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their young age,
children
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may become more easily addicted to what they see on the internet or struggle to quit gaming. What’s more, if they spent several
hours
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exercising or reading books rather than scrolling through their phones, it would lead to a stronger physique and a more cultivated taste. In conclusion, the absence of
parents
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may result in
children
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spending
hours
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every day on their phones.
This
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can easily lead to addiction or a weaker body.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points mentioned in the introduction are explicitly developed in the body of the essay.
task achievement
Try to provide more examples to support your arguments, which can strengthen your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a wider variety of linking words to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing or elaborating on some sentences for clarity and deeper analysis of points made.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and is structured logically with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The identification of parental absence as a key reason for children's smartphone usage shows insight into the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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