IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalized and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the news and media coverage are dramatic which can negatively
effects
Verb problem
affect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives. It is a positive trend said by others.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. In my opinion, I favour the former view. On the one hand, nowadays the entertainment industries are providing
skew
Correct word choice
skewed
show examples
 information on their
channels
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.
Moreover
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, individuals are
following
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this
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 exaggerated data so blindly that they do not verify the source of the details.
For instance
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,the packed fruit juices are the epitome
for
Change preposition
of
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this
Linking Words
 topic.
while
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they
are advertise
Change the verb form
are advertised
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 as a healthy product, but in general they are made up of unhealthy
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
 like sugar.
As a result
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, it causes
health related
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health-related
show examples
 problems which
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 humans in a negative way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 can be influenced
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media in a positive way. Many
channels
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 now present dramatic content that motivates and benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society at the same time. To cite an example,
body builders
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bodybuilders
show examples
 showcase their
body
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bodies
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 through their
channels
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 to promote healthier
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, a huge determination is required to make a good physique, by uploading exercise videos one can
motivates
Change the verb form
motivate
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
followers
To conclude
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,
currently
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currently,
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 there are many flaws in the news and media sector because of the lack of the
creditibility
Correct your spelling
credibility
creditability
 of the facts which
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's life. It can be changed by sharing
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 knowledge with in-depth analysis of the facts and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it should be released on the
channels
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which is good. However, you could improve it by rephrasing the prompt more clearly to reflect the discussion of both views more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to use a clearer and more logical structure. Currently, the transitions between points could be improved for better flow. Adding linking words would help connect your ideas more effectively.
task response
Try to present more balanced viewpoints in both paragraphs. The second view seems underdeveloped compared to the first, which could affect your overall argument.
task response
Your essay presents a point of view and attempts to discuss the topic which is a critical aspect of task achievement.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as the fruit juice topic and body builders, which strengthen your argument and show relevance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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