In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays have it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

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Shopping is a daily
activity
Use synonyms
that happens to all people around the world. It could be groceries, clothes, foodfoods, fancy goods, and even services. We can classify those types of shopping into 2 common categories based on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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purpose,
such
Linking Words
as need and want. Basically, the “need” context in shopping is more to
fulfill
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fulfil
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primary needs. In order to live daily as a human being, we need to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
our need for food or anything
that is
Linking Words
required at that moment.
For example
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,
Like
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apply
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we go to a market to buy some vegetables and meats so we
cancould
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could
cook them at home and present our cooks
for
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to
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family or
to ourselvesyourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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. Or you could go to a stationary store to buy an eraser because you lost your old one and you have a writing test
by
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apply
show examples
tomorrow morning. These two conditions lead to how to identify shopping as a
way
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of fulfilling your needs. As for “wants”, we can classify
this
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way
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of shopping
activity
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as an unnecessary
activity
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or It’s okay to do
this
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shopping, but we can live without it. It was all as simple as need and want
,
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apply
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until some people treated
this
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activity
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as a
hobby
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and enjoyed doing it. Some may find shopping for luxury goods as a
way
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of fulfilling their wants, but it's different to others who treat shopping as part of their
hobby
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. Spending money is one thing, but the joy of purchasing something of your league is a whole new perspective of shopping itself.
This
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perspective tends to glorify any ideas of
self-rewardself
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self-reward self
self-reward-self
reward and may extend to negativity. There are lots of
researches
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researchers
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saying that treating shopping as a
hobby
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is just a part of simply running away from reality.
This
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might lead to a bad
way
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of regulating stress. They might feel better for a
while
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, but the joy only stays for a couple of days and they start to crave more for another
short-termshort
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short-term short
term period of joy. It’s not healthy for your mind and of course, for your wallet though. It can even lead to debts and a growing consumptive habit.
This
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is why, self-control is a key to
livinglive
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living
worry-free and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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to find another
hobby
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that could bring you
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a better version each day.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and addresses the topic, but your ideas occasionally lack clarity and coherence. Consider refining the structure of your paragraphs to better link your ideas together.
task achievement
Your arguments regarding shopping as a hobby provide valuable insights, but they can be more clearly articulated. Make sure to clearly define and support your main points throughout the essay.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to include a stronger conclusion that clearly summarizes your viewpoint and reflects on the extent to which you consider this trend positive or negative.
task achievement
Your essay successfully categorizes shopping into needs and wants, providing a solid foundation for the discussion.
task achievement
You have included some interesting insights about the psychological effects of shopping as a hobby, which adds depth to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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