Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

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It has become a debatable concern whether
the
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apply
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school-aged
children
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should
proform
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perform
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educational
activities
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or not and i
am completely disagree
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completely disagree
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with
this
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notion. In
this
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essay , I will discuss the reasons behind
reasons
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the reasons
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with some supportive examples from my real-world knowledge. Primarily,
thare
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there
are
a
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apply
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numerous reasons why
i
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I
show examples
do not consider that free time
activities
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need to be based on academics
such
Linking Words
as physical fitness,
relexing
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relaxing
mind
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the mind
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, increasing imagination power and social skills for young
one's
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ones
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. It is a fact that when a
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children
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child
show examples
has a healthy mind , more likely to be active in schooling as well. To make it more clear, when
children
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play a wide variety of games that are focused on
entainment
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entertainment
entrainment
rather than knowledge, they feel
relexed
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relaxed
and rejuvenated. Resultantly,
children
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's
conscious's
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conscious
show examples
mind
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minds
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get much activated as compared to those who are more involved in
academics based
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academics-based
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activities
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.
This
Linking Words
fact is
considerd
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considered
as
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apply
show examples
per the
reserch
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research
of
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the center
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center
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Center
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on the
developing child
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Developing Child
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at Harvard University as well. Apart from
it
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that
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,
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while
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apply
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playing outdoor sports like football, basketball etc. ,
it
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apply
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plays a crucial
rule
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role
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for
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in
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mind-body
cordination
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coordination
effectivly
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effectively
.
Moreover
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, games like
table-tannis
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table tennis
,
badmenton
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badminton
etc ,
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are benefical
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benefical
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beneficial
for
teching
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teaching
them eye-body
co-ordination
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coordination
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for
childrens
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children
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, when students
get
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apply
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participation
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participate
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in sports
which are
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that
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required
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require
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more
player
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players
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,
children
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learns
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learn
show examples
how to build collaboration and teamwork
skill
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skills
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andsince
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and since
since
child
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children
show examples
play
story telling
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storytelling
show examples
games , it booast the capability
of
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to
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imagine something new ..To epitome it, developed nations like China
has
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have
show examples
impliment
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implement
implemented
the way in terms of extra
subject
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subjects
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for
extra-curriculum
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extracurricular
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activities
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which are not a part of careers, students are more likely better in terms of physical fitness
,
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and, healthy
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healthy
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a healthy
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mindset and they do best in career in the future. In conclusion,free
activities
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without any study purpose not
does
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apply
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only make
children
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fresh , good physic but
also
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increasing
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increase
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imagination power.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more organized examples to better support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion to clearly state your perspective and summarize your main points.
task achievement
You have shown a strong opinion in your essay, clearly disagreeing with the notion that leisure activities must be educational.
task achievement
The use of personal experience and examples adds depth to your argument and makes it relatable.
task achievement
You have included several points on the benefits of leisure activities that are non-educational, which is a valid argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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