Many companies sponsor sports through advertising. Some people think that this is very beneficial for the world of sports, while others believe there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Commercial

Use synonyms

is one of the controversial issues among people in modern society.

While

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some people believe it is useful for the

sports

Use synonyms

industry, others argue that its drawbacks can cause many maladaptive results.

This

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essay will look at both views and explain why I assert advertising is necessary for a sustainable industry. On the one hand, it is true that there are some negative effects when companies advertise their products in a game.

Firstly

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, it increases the likelihood that a company will intervene in the operation of the

sports

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organization.

For example

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, Newcastle City, which was taken over by a gambling enterprise, showed the

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of a gambling site’s domain on their uniform, leading to the large disappointment of fans. Eventually, it means that advertising can cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

damage to the

sports

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organization’s image.

Moreover

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this

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damage is not able to recover easily and remains long-run, despite many efforts. As

such

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, we should pay attention to the

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to maintain the continuous operation.

Although

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these disadvantages, I believe that

sports

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organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

should get sponsored by companies.

This

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is because it makes

easier

Correct pronoun usage

it easier

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to administer

sports

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clubs by earning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spare money. Their investment allows them to buy a new player or construct a new stadium, ensuring to attract many spectators. From my experience, I can see easily

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

football

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

show examples

earn money from advertisements and other sponsorships and

this

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money is used to recruit new players.

Thus

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, I strongly believe that we have to pursue a balanced approach that combines both sponsorship and

independency

Replace the word

independence

show examples

and find

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a way to combat the excessive intervention by companies. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments about sponsorship by

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. Some believe we should prohibit

this

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phenomenon, but I advocate for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sponsorship to make the better infrastructure of

sports

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organizations.

hyewook47Tue Apr 15 2025

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Task Response

The introduction clearly outlines the two sides of the argument and includes a clear thesis statement. However, it could be improved by providing a brief overview of the points that will be discussed in the essay.

Task Response

Some arguments need to be further developed to enhance clarity and depth. Providing more examples or elaborating on the main points would strengthen the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on one main idea. This would enhance the logical flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

In the conclusion, summarizing the main points discussed would help reinforce your argument and provide a clearer closure to your essay.

Task Response

The essay presents both views on the topic clearly and supports the author's opinion well.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a good level of complexity in the sentence structures used throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Many companies sponsor sports through advertising. Some people think that this is very beneficial for the world of sports, while others believe there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't.what's your opinion?'

Some people think adults should learn practical skills by themselves, while others think they should learn with teachers in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.