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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart displays the percentage of people who ate fast food in five countries in 2020. country A 70% country B 65% country C 50% country D 49% country E 30%

the bar chart displays the percentage of people who ate fast food in five countries in 2020. country A 70% country B 65% country C 50% country D 49% country E 30%
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The bar chart provides key information about
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
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food
Use synonyms
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 rate for five
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2020. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
country
Use synonyms
 A and
country
Use synonyms
 B sectors had the largest
food
Use synonyms
 consumed.
In addition
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 E saw the lowest percentage,
whereas
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 C and D remained dominant.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
country
Use synonyms
 A had the highest percentage at around 70% of
food
Use synonyms
 consumption, the proportion of
country
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 B followed closely at about 60%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 E had the lowest rate, with only around 30% of its population eating fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Country
Use synonyms
 C had approximately 50%,
while
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 D showed a similar rate, slightly below 50%. The chart
highlight
Change the verb form
highlights
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 a clear trend: fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption was much higher in certain
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 A and B stood out with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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significantly higher
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
,
while
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 E remained the least
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 over
2020
Change the article
the 2020
show examples
 year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, countries, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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