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Writing Samples
Band 6

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the reasons that cause stress, and what are its effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, more and more
people
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 feel
stress
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 as a constant
of
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in
show examples
 their
life
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, and they usually require psychological support. There are many causes of
this
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 growing situation, from economic issues to
work
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 conditions.
As a consequence
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, the global population suffer from psychological and health illnesses. What is happening to our world? The answer is not so simple and it requires a deep analysis.
Firstly
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,
life
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 expenses are increasing, from rent to groceries.
People
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 are worried about not satisfying their families just with their earnings.
This
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 is surely one of the main reasons for
stress
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.
Moreover
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, workers are alienated from their jobs. They do the same things every day and feel the pressure of their chiefs. Sometimes, they finish their working day, they come back home and continue to think about
work
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. Researches from a university show that 90% of interviewed
people
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 are stressed
due to
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 their
work
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 and lack of free time.
Consequently
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, more
people
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 need help from psychologists to manage mental diseases,
as
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for
show examples
 instance, depression. It can occur as a symptom of
stress
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,
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apply
show examples
 when
people
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 do not fit in their
life
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 anymore, or, even worse, when they cannot contribute economically to their families.
This
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 condition can lead
also
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 to health illnesses. A group of American doctors sustains that one main reason for cancers and heart diseases is
stress
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, after, of course, a bad diet.
To sum up
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, our present
life
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 is stressful,
due to
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 economic pressures, expenses, debts, and
work
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 conditions. The consequences are different, and often related to our psychological well-being.
However
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, we should try to overcome
stress
Use synonyms
 by taking more free time for ourselves.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help to guide your reader and set the expectation for your essay.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your claims. For instance, when discussing economic pressures, you could reference specific statistics or studies that highlight how these pressures affect mental health in different countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your ideas by using more cohesive devices. Phrases like 'in addition', 'furthermore', and 'for instance' can help connect your paragraphs more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and also reflects on the wider implications of stress in society, perhaps suggesting solutions or future considerations.
Task Achievement
The identification of specific causes of stress, such as economic pressures and work-related issues, shows a good understanding of the topic and engages the reader's interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different points, allowing for easier reading and comprehension.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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