IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In the past people use to spend their free time in a battery as compared to nowadays. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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In the past
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to conduct their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 with meaning compared to these days. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 has more chances to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 effectively in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 days. On the one hand, back to
background
Correct article usage
the background
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 live their peaceful and repetitive
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in specific areas. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they had
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 access and even much
time
Use synonyms
 to entertain themselves.
In contrast
Linking Words
, two decades ago the most common profession for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 was farming or
craftmanship
Correct your spelling
craftsmanship
show examples
 which required long
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 in working fields. Everything which needed to
result
Verb problem
be
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
 by hand made and machinery system was not so common.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, compared to previous
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to more facilities now. Because of recreational areas which were built
last
Linking Words
 20 – 30 years.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
Use synonyms
 to travel abroad
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 special tours where
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can buy tickets online
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
including hotel
reservation
Fix the agreement mistake
reservations
show examples
 3 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meal service. Especially
due to
Linking Words
urbanizations
Fix the agreement mistake
urbanization
show examples
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more entertainment spots
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 established
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 decades.
Also
Linking Words
, it is not
such
Linking Words
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
 task for
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 income to visit
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
 or to take a short trip to resort areas in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period of
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, compared to previous
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 individuals might take
time
Use synonyms
 off easily
due to
Linking Words
improving
Correct article usage
an improving
show examples
 lifestyle which gives access to different activities for leisure.

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Task Response
Ensure that your thematic statement is clear and concise. The phrase 'conduct their leisure time with meaning' can be more straightforward. Instead, consider stating 'spend their leisure time meaningfully'.
Task Response
Try to develop your points further with more specific examples and details to fully support your arguments. This will bolster your argument and meet the task requirements more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are well-structured, with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that relate back to the main idea of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical structures and word forms, such as 'used to' instead of 'use to' or phrases like 'the majority have more chances' instead of 'the majority has more chances.'
Task Response
Your essay does show a clear disagreement with the prompt, which is important in addressing the essay question directly.
Task Response
You provided some reasonable examples in your arguments about modern leisure activities, which adds depth to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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