IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart provides data on the number of biths given per woman in 6 Gulf countries in 2 seperate years 1990 and 2000.

The bar chart provides data on the number of biths given per woman in 6 Gulf countries in 2 seperate years 1990 and 2000.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides key information about
fertility
Correct article usage
the fertility
show examples
 rate among the 6 Gulf countries for 1990 and 2000 years. the units are measured in the number of
births
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Oman and Saudi Arabia sectors had the largest numbers of
births
Use synonyms
 rate.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportion of Bahrain and Kuwait sectors saw the lowest numbers.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the UAE sector remained dominant.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown from the graph, Oman had the largest birth number at around 7
births
Use synonyms
 in 1990 dropping to 5.5 in 2000. Saudi Arabia followed closely with about 6.75
births
Use synonyms
 in 1990 decreased to 5.5 in 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Bahrain and Kuwait showed the least number of
births
Use synonyms
 at around 3.5 in 1990 which reduced closely to 2.5 in 2000. UAE reached approximately at around 4 in 1990 and declined to nearly 2.95 in the year 2000 among women. The graph highlights a clear trend: fertility rates were at the highest rate in certain countries. Oman and Saudi Arabia,
in particular
Linking Words
, stood out with significantly higher numbers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words births with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • fertility rate
  • Gulf countries
  • economic development
  • social policies
  • healthcare improvements
  • population growth
  • decade
  • significant change
  • trend analysis
  • implications
  • variation
  • consistency
  • population dynamics
  • demographic changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: