Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realisticallyabout their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that young people should be free to choose any career they want. Others think they should make more realistic decisions based on their future needs. Both sides have strong arguments, and I will discuss them before giving my own opinion.
On one hand, choosing a career freely can lead to more happiness and success. When individuals do what they love, they often work harder and enjoy their
job
more. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For example
, a young person who loves painting might become a successful artist if they follow their passion. Linking Words
This
can lead to a more satisfying life. Linking Words
Also
, if the young generation are forced into jobs they do not like, they may become unhappy or even quit.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, thinking realistically is Linking Words
also
important. Some careers are very difficult to enter or do not pay well. Linking Words
For instance
, becoming a professional athlete or musician is a dream for many, but very few succeed. If young Linking Words
persons
do not consider job security or salary, they may struggle financially in the future. Parents and teachers often want them to choose careers in medicine, law, or engineering because these jobs are more stable.
In my opinion, young humans should follow their interestsReplace the word
people
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
think about the future. A good balance is important. Linking Words
For example
, someone interested in music can study business or technology to have other options.
In conclusion, both freedom and realistic thinking are important when choosing a career. Young people should be guided, but not forced.Linking Words
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or unique perspectives to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Try to expand on your points a bit more for clarity and depth, particularly in your body paragraphs.
structure
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the topic well.
argumentation
Your ability to discuss both views fairly shows a balanced perspective on the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite