IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that online education is a more effective way of learning than traditional classroom education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Online learning is becoming increasingly common, raising the question of whether it is more effective than traditional classroom
education
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.
This
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 essay agrees with
such
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view
Correct article usage
a view
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 because online study offers greater flexibility and convenience,
although
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 it may not work well for students who lack self-discipline. One major advantage of online learning is the flexibility it provides to learners. Unlike traditional
education
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, online learning allows individuals to choose when and where they study, which is especially beneficial for people with busy schedules or personal commitments.
For instance
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, a recent survey by Youth Volunteers in Belgium has highlighted the fact and showed that 78% of young learners prefer using platforms like Coursera over attending physical classes, as they find it more convenient and better suited to their individual pace and lifestyle.
However
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, online
education
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 can sometimes be less effective because many learners do not treat these courses with the same seriousness as traditional classes.
That is
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 primarily owing to the lack of self-discipline; individuals often struggle to stay motivated and committed without a structured classroom environment.
For example
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, statistics provided by Stanford Online in 2023 revealed that only 51% of students actually completed the courses they had enrolled in, which highlights the challenge of maintaining consistent engagement in online learning. In conclusion,
while
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 the essay agrees that online
education
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 is a more effective option for many
due to
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 its flexibility, it is not without drawbacks.
In particular
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, a lack of face-to-face interaction and self-discipline may prevent some students from fully benefiting from that form of learning.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each supporting point is elaborated upon more thoroughly to enhance the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on the drawbacks of online education in more detail, discussing how it compares to the benefits stated, to provide a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, you can use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly and guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistent arguments throughout the essay, ensuring that the points you make consistently support your overall thesis.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear thesis statement in the introduction and maintains a relevant focus throughout the body paragraphs, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples and statistics effectively supports your points, making your arguments more convincing and relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, contributing to the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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