Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human beings are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying that environmental degradation from human activities has severely affected the ecosystem and put many species on the verge of extinction.
This
phenomenon has heated debate about whether countries and individuals should cooperate to find a solution or
to
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apply
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prioritize the needs of humans over these endangered
animals
. The writer contends that striking a harmonious balance between two options is appropriate since both bring about advantages. Advocates of the interference from governmental and individual aspects argue that the combination of both groups has a profound effect on addressing
this
ongoing problem. In the short run, the authority can utilize their political power and authority to pass the conserving law or impose strict regulations to preserve these nearly-extinct species. In the long run, accountability originating from a sense of individualism acts as a critical component in solving the problem's root. Since people
instill
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instil
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valuable knowledge of
animals
' importance, it fosters a sense of responsibility among the younger generation, resulting in a diverse and balanced environment when these exert their efforts to conserve living beings. The dissenting voice of
this
decision asserts that
this
is not beneficial from an economic viewpoint. It must be acknowledged that financial resources are limitless;
therefore
, allocating them to prevent some
animals
from becoming extinct seems inappropriate since impoverishment, famine, illiteracy and tension are ubiquitous, depriving humankind of pleasure and prosperity.
Besides
that, undoubtedly, the world population has grown exponentially, placing a strain on authority.
Thus
,
channeling
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channelling
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financial aid into the economy to extend job opportunities and improve living quality is necessary, which can ensure sustainable development,
while
that allocation into a sanctuary can hinder economic growth. In conclusion, leaning toward a balanced viewpoint can be the holistic way to remedy
this
problem since both sides possess suitable patterns to develop
animals
' and humans' lives.

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task achievement
Your essay nicely articulates both perspectives and your own opinion, showcasing a good grasp of the task requirements. You could enhance your score further by incorporating more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help to concretely illustrate your points, making them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You've managed to logically structure your essay and include both an introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. To improve even further, consider varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of linking words to enhance readability and flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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