IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Immigration has a major impact on society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

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These days,
immigration
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 has become increasingly ubiquitous
particularly
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, particularly
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 in wealthier
countries
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.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon may impact
a
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apply
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society , both migrants and the
land
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 which they immigrate to. First and foremost, one of the most common reasons why people leave their area is the issues related to war. Indeed, as they may have encountered difficulties because of a lack of security and an increasing number of victims , they believed that moving to another country could reduce
this
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 problem if they
opt
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opted
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 for a safer area. To illustrate
this
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 statement, it has recently been shown that those who want to escape from civil conflicts tend to migrate to
well developed
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well-developed
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 regions rather than tier-world
countries
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due to
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 a higher level of safety.
Moreover
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, another segment of
immigrants
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 come to a foreign
land
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 for professional purposes. In fact,
immigration
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 usually results in earning
low incomes
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low-income
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 jobs which can lead to financial issues. In order to tackle
this
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 situation, people prefer leaving their occupation and tempting their chances in other regions where there is a larger choice of job opportunities.
For instance
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, it has become nowadays common to see
immigrants
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 applying for a job, mostly ,perhaps unsurprisingly, in rich
countries
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.
Hence
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,
immigration
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 is engendered by several reasons including
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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 safety and work opportunities.
Nevertheless
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, the phenomenon can sometimes be synonymous with more significant problems to tackle. In fact,
due to
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 the increasing number of
immigrants
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 coming, the government does not have enough refugee assistance programs to help them, which can result in repatriation to their native
land
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.
For example
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,
countries
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such
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 as the United States have recently implemented new policies regarding
immigrants
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 and state that they can help a limited number of individuals, which means that they may be unable to welcome all of them.
Therefore
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, many refugees used to go back to their region because of the lack of disponibility of assistance and the growing figures of
immigrants
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. Taking everything into account, I believe that
immigration
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 could be part and parcel
due to
Linking Words
 security and professional reasons and expected to improve life prospects. It can
however
Linking Words
 worsen
immigrants
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' problems as they are likely to return to their
land
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 if the welcoming country cannot offer them help.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of immigration, but try to add a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help the reader understand the main point you will discuss.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to make them more specific and nuanced to strengthen your arguments and provide deeper insights.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, think about using more linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers relevant points regarding the reasons for immigration and acknowledges both sides of the issue, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples such as the situation in the United States adds credibility to your claims and reflects a good understanding of the immigration context.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
What to do next:
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