People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are those who believe that citizens in the 21st century have a more enhanced quality of
life
than those in the past centuries. I completely agree with this
view, as I think the advancements in science and technology have significant impacts on our way of living.
First of all, the healthcare
service now is more advanced and accessible to more populations than the prior centuries thanks to the rising numbers of qualified healthcare
professionals and the innovations in medical facilities. For example
, in mountainous areas in Vietnam, local residents nowadays do not need to travel millions of miles to big cities for healthcare
treatment as they can reach out to trained doctors and nurses in the
nearby hospitals with ready medical equipment for health check-ups. Even, high-qualified doctors from large hospitals can give consultation and guidance to the less experienced ones in local areas via online calls to support the difficult cases. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, there are also
many modern medical machinery which are equipped to make the check-up process and the treatment more effective. For instance
, advancements in medical imaging and minimally invasive surgery have made complex procedures safer and more accessible, drastically reducing recovery times and improving outcomes.
Another justification for the better quality of life
of the 21st century's citizens is that with the support of digital technology, our ways of networking, transaction and entertainment become more convenient and rich. At first,
only with their smartphones, modern people
today can connect and contact their family and friends much easier, quicker and even cheaper via diverse options including online social networks & zoom calls, compared to only texting and phone calls in the past centuries. Additionally
, money transactions among people
in society have now become less time-consuming and more manageable with the usage of mobile banking services. Moreover
, now people
can get access to various entertainment options anytime anywhere. For example
, instead
of going to cinemas to watch films, now people
can surf the web to opt for millions of films just through several clicks with less expenses.
In conclusion, I firmly hold the view that the 21st century offers a superior quality of life
thanks to the improvements in healthcare
and the breakthroughs in digital technology. These developments have not only prolonged our lives but have also
enriched our daily experiences making our modern life
more convenient, connected and comfortable than ever before.Submitted by phuongbui053 on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader on your stance right from the beginning. While your introduction is well done, making your thesis more prominent could enhance clarity.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, anchor each main point with a clear topic sentence followed by evidence and examples. While you do this effectively, consider spending a bit more time explaining how each example supports your argument to deepen the analysis.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas. You've done this well, but expanding your range of connectors could provide even smoother transitions between points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to conclude your essay with a strong, definitive stance that reflects back on the arguments made, reinforcing your position. Your conclusion does this well, but a more nuanced reflection on the implications of your argument could make it even stronger.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.