Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their as well as feeling under pressure. what are some of the causes of this? what solutions could you suggest?

The vast majority of adolescents, especially in the Western region, have part-
time
jobs as it is an effective measure to earn money without having to fully commit to a particular job.
However
, many pupils are struggling with
time
management,
while
others are suffering from excessive stress.
This
essay will discuss the culprits behind
this
phenomenon, which are the lack of resting
time
as well as
the work-academic imbalance and the correct measures to overcome them. The enabling factors of the part-
time
working students who suffer from overstress may vary.
Firstly
, part-
time
jobs usually occupy the student's leisure
time
, which leads to less leisure
time
.
Consequently
, after they come home from work, they will be less likely to do the assignments given by their lecturers as their bodies are already unenergized,
hence
why they can barely focus on their tasks.
Furthermore
, it leads to the second cause, which is overstressed because they bear too many responsibilities both from their workplaces and universities. If
this
continues to happen for a long period of
time
, it will cause bigger mental problems, namely depression, which can
also
manifest in worsened physical wellness.
Nonetheless
, part-
time
employment can be done without these underlying issues if one keeps good
time
management to allocate working and school
time
in the right portions. Other than that,
a
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well-established coping stress is pivotal to shun away the mental and physical problems, which are caused by the overburdened and piled up pressures from both jobs and
university related
Add a hyphen
university-related
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stuff. In conclusion, part-
time
vacancies have to be enjoyable for teenagers as long as they can avoid the downsides,
such
as a lack of rest
time
and overpressure.
Finally
, the methods to achieve them are to set up neat
time
arrangement
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arrangements
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and prepare a reliable coping mechanism.
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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that directly addresses the causes and solutions to the issue of students working while studying in college or university.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Be more explicit in connecting your points.
task achievement
Use concrete examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial independence
  • employability
  • time management
  • academic performance
  • flexible scheduling
  • financial aid
  • scholarship opportunities
  • internship programs
  • on-campus job opportunities
  • stress relief
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