Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that many dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
should have been banned by governments.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
say they have an appropriate right to do any
sports
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and activities. In
this
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essay, I will explain both advantages and disadvantages,
following
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this
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statement. In many countries, governments have to limit and ban some kinds of violent
sports
Use synonyms
such
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as racing, boxing, fighting, martial
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
, and so on.
This
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is because some
people
Use synonyms
try to copy and play without suitable equipment and
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
regulations.
Furthermore
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, these cause a lot of
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
including accidents, crimes, and fatalities.
For example
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, young teenagers do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car racing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
puclic
Correct your spelling
public
roads, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
illegal,
sometimes
Correct word choice
and sometimes
show examples
they crash
other
Change preposition
into other
show examples
vehicles. The results are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high number of deaths and accidents.
Nevertheless
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,
people
Use synonyms
still have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to do any activities but they have to follow the
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should provide the
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
knowledge and information to prevent any high problems.
Moreover
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, providing the experts in order to teach
people
Use synonyms
how to play and building proper facilities are essential to reduce the number of illegal situations.
For instance
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, the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
of
Use synonyms
sports
Capitalize word
Sports
show examples
in Thailand
contructs
Correct your spelling
constructed
a motorcycle stadium so as to
encounrage
Correct your spelling
encourage
many young
people
Use synonyms
to use and ride with protective gadgets.
As a result
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of
this
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solution, they reduce the number of car accidents in public spaces. In conclusion, I think everyone has
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
human
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to do any
sports
Use synonyms
.
However
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, governments have to control
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some specific activities that do not have policies and laws to support but they should
also
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give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advice to make
people
Use synonyms
more
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
and create beneficial infrastructure to reduce hazardous incidents.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Be more specific in some examples and explanations to strengthen the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity and professionalism in the writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Some examples provided are relevant and help illustrate the points being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
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