IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are a library. A new resident has inquired about becoming a member of your library. In your letter: • welcome them and introduce the library • provide information about membership requirements the library facilities • write about the opening hours and borrowing policies of the library

Dear Mr John Welcome to our
library
Use synonyms
. Our
library
Use synonyms
 is very good for readers. Especially, if you want
read
Fix the infinitive
to read
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 silence and comfortable place. The
library
Use synonyms
 includes more than 3000 books and instructions. The
library
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 massive, modern and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more facilities. if you want to join our
library
Use synonyms
. We have two kids of
registration
Use synonyms
 offline and online. You can register online from anywhere and all the necessary information is available at www.books.com, but for offline
Use synonyms
registration
Add a comma
registration,
show examples
 you have to come to our
library
Use synonyms
. For
Use synonyms
registration
Add a comma
registration,
show examples
 you
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 bring only your
id
Correct your spelling
ID
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 if you are under 12 years old, you must
also
Linking Words
 bring a letter of authorization from your parents. If you have successfully
Use synonyms
registration
Replace the word
registered
show examples
. You will have the following amenities in
this
Linking Words
library
Use synonyms
. You can read books
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, and bring
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home. Our
library
Use synonyms
open
Add a missing verb
is open
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 from 8 am to 10 pm. And for borrowing you
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 submit one book. If you have any questions write to us.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Jurabek Jabborov

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Try to organize your content into clearer paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. For example, you could have one paragraph for welcoming the reader, one for membership details, and another for library hours and policies.
language
Make sure to use correct grammar and syntax. For example, 'The library is very massive and modern and has many facilities' would sound better.
tone
Ensure you use a polite and formal tone throughout the letter, especially in the closing. You could replace 'write to us' with 'please feel free to reach out with any questions'.
content
You have a friendly tone and provide important information about the library, which is great.
clarity
The detail about online and offline registration options is very helpful for potential members.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: