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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, people are eating more unhealthy food and having poor diets, which is leading to serious health problems. What are the main causes of this trend? What solutions can individuals and governments take to improve people's eating habits?

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It is true that in today’s fast automatic life, more people tend to consume junk
food
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 or packaged
food
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 as their main course which has become a leading cause of health problems.
This
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 essay will discuss the potential steps that both governments and citizens can take to enhance their eating habits. The chief reason why nowadays people are more inclined to fast
food
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 is the busy lifestyle they have.
Due to
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 daily rising prices which cause the need for both parents in a household to work outside, there would be less time to prepare homemade dishes with high nutrients. Advertisements
also
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 play an important role in
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 appearing trend.
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 is because unhealthy snacks are marketed in a way that attracts people. Governments could certainly make more effort to curb these patterns. They could introduce laws for
food
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 industries regarding the quality of their ingredients. They can
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 increase public knowledge about the impact of what they eat on their health situation over a long time as a prevention method. Individuals should
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 accept their own part of responsibilities. Indeed, each person has the most powerful influence on his or her life. In fact, it is you, yourself, who chooses what to enter your body system. You can treat yourself to some ice cream or your favourite candy bar once in a
while
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, but being careful of what your portions consist of is the most important thing. In conclusion, the rise in unhealthy diets among members of the community is of important matter and both the state and social members should take steps to tackle the health issues
this
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 trend is causing at an inexorable speed.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve clarity, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics that illustrate the health impacts of poor diets.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use varied sentence structures for better readability and engagement.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of transitional phrases that help guide the reader through your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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