IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The devices people use to watch television in Canada. The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. (

The devices people use to watch television in Canada. The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. (
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The given two pie charts illustrate the average number of Canadian citizens, which were
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
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aged
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 18 to 25 years old, who used the devices to watch television between 2009 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of conventional
TV
Use synonyms
 users reduced significantly
while
Linking Words
 the figure
of
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for
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 flat-screen
Use synonyms
TV
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TVs
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 rose substantially over the given time period. Meanwhile, the proportion of
tablet
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tablets
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also
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 went up sequentially, when other devices increased and decreased marginally for the same time recorded. In 2009, the
less
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lowest
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 percentage of
gadget
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gadgets
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 was
tablet
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tablets
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whereas
Linking Words
 in 2019 it grew, reaching 19% of all pie
chart
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charts
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure
of
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for
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 flat-screen
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
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 exhibited a significant growth from 8% to 27% over the 10 years.
In addition
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, the percentage of mobile
phone
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phones
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, which has 15% of phone customers, came to 26% from all.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the hugest decline was in the
statistic
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statistics
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 of conventional
TV
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 purchasers, which dropped from 34% to 4% respectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the proportion of
consumer
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consumers
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 and
laptop
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laptops
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 went down marginally, hitting the same percentage as 12% of
whole
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the whole
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 diagram.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "marginally" was used 2 times.
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