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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the number of hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and the total student population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the number of hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and the total student population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided graph gives information about the amount of nitrogen oxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 produced by four vehicles. Namely
buses
Use synonyms
, lorries, petrol
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
diesel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obviously seen that there are
buses
Use synonyms
 and lorries’s nitrogen oxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 fluctuate dramatically,
while
Linking Words
 other kinds of vehicles do not alter their indicators. Getting back to the details, the higher
indicator
Use synonyms
 of nitrogen oxide
emissions
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 provided by
buses
Use synonyms
, which is at 40 when at the
buses
Use synonyms
 speed of 10,
then
Linking Words
 the
indicator
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharp
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
show examples
 to 25
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the
buses
Use synonyms
 grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their speed
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
emissions
Use synonyms
 increase. At
speed
Correct article usage
a speed
show examples
 of 130
Add a comma
,
show examples
the
indicator
Use synonyms
 of emission
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 up approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
42,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest
indicator
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
diesel
Correct article usage
the diesel
show examples
car
Use synonyms
, which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
close
Change preposition
of close
show examples
 to 5 . When
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
diesel
Correct article usage
the diesel
show examples
car
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the indicators do not alter remaining at the same level around
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5. The movement of
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 petrol cars is the same as
diesel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the figures are
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
higher, than a
diesel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. The
indicator
Use synonyms
 of emission of lorries
constitute
Wrong verb form
constituted
show examples
 35,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 20 at
speed
Correct article usage
a speed
show examples
 of 90,
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually to 24.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions, buses, car, diesel, indicator with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
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