Some people say that governments should spend more money taking care elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The welfare of the country's population has always been a priority for the
government
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
few believe that the proportion of
money
Use synonyms
spent to take care of the aged population should exceed the expenditure made on educating the youth, others opine that the future of the community is dependent on its adolescents, and
thus
Linking Words
more
money
Use synonyms
should be used to educate people. In my view, both the young and the old are equally important to the nation,
thus
Linking Words
an equal amount should be spent on study and caregiving for seniors
due to
Linking Words
their significant roles in shaping society. On the one hand, the life expectancy of older people provides a clear answer to the services offered to
this
Linking Words
category. When the
government
Use synonyms
invests its
money
Use synonyms
in medical, infrastructural and other basic amenities, we get a true picture of how the person is treated or served in society. High death rates
due to
Linking Words
medical conditions or lack of food , water and shelter indicate the negligence of the authorities in terms of investment in survival needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, our seniors being our role models and taxpayers during their working age, helped the economy to progress.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the state should do all that it can to ensure that its efforts are worthwhile working for the nation. Our elders should never feel that they are a burden. To reward them, the authorities in many nations have constructed special homes, which are subsidized and many programs promote discounts for seniors. Even the banks offer a high rate of interest on their savings.
Such
Linking Words
small gestures from the
government
Use synonyms
make the elderly group proud and their blessings are a boon to the country's growth. A recent study by the University of Toronto reveals that an old person lives a better quality and quantity of life when the
government
Use synonyms
looks after them when no one else does.
Money
Use synonyms
invested in the construction of old-age homes, long-term care facilities and even making priority lanes at the airport , all lead to happy and healthy senior living.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teenagers are the future of a country, and
thus
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
invested in educating them goes a long way. Easy student loans with subsidized interest rates, scholarships and academic achievements are some areas where developed countries have proved that expenditure in providing world-class information is beneficial. Free education for all until a certain age,is a slogan, well adopted in the richest countries like U.S.A. and Canada.
This
Linking Words
strategy encourages even the ones who are poor and uninterested in gaining academic qualifications. A literate community is the real wealth of the nation.
This
Linking Words
has been illustrated by the U.S.A., which continuously runs scholarship schemes for high-schoolers to enrol in eminent Universities and
hence
Linking Words
motivates its youngsters to become the supreme power in the world. Ergo, the
government
Use synonyms
's spending capacity towards learning should be emphasized. In conclusion, the
money
Use synonyms
collected from its taxpayers should be utilized to its optimum level, in imparting education and
also
Linking Words
taking care of its senior citizens.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider enhancing the clarity and depth of some main points, particularly in the argument for government spending on the elderly. Make sure each point has robust examples that align closely with the argument.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within them. Using more linking words can help clarify the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines both views and presents a clear opinion, setting the stage for discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the points made and reflects the writer's stance, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: