Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industries in the world. Unfortunately international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that international
tourism
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, as the largest industry worldwide, causes tension between individuals from different
cultures
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instead
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of fostering more understanding.
While
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some people agree with
this
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idea, I completely disagree with
this
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view.
This
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essay will explain the reasons for my opinion. There are several reasons why I disagree with
this
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view. One of the main reasons is that international
tourism
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contributes to the exposure of different
cultures
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.
This
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means that individuals from different places can find shared interests with other people. In practical terms, it can make it easier for them to have better communication with others.
As a result
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, countries and their governments can have peaceful relationships.
For example
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, countries whose communities are connected because of
tourism
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usually have better international interactions. Another important factor is that
this
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matter causes a better understanding of the positive and negative points of the host country’s culture and the tourists’ countries.
This
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is particularly beneficial because both sides would be able to improve their
cultures
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. As a practical consequence, the communities may find it easier to eliminate wrong traditional behaviours and be accepted by the rest of the world. If
this
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trend is accepted, it is likely to lead to the elimination of superstitions from different
cultures
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.
For instance
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, with the help of mutual understanding caused by
tourism
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, the cultural behaviours of many societies have been improved , and they can communicate more effectively with foreign people. In conclusion, I completely disagree with
this
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idea
due to
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points
such
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as different
cultures
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' exposure and the possibility of evaluating cultural behaviours.
Overall
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,
this
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approach can have long-lasting and widespread positive effects on the societies.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is clear, but your ideas need more detail. Explain how meeting local people, using local services, or joining local events can reduce tension.
task response
Your examples are too general. For example, say that a visitor stays with a local family, learns local customs, and then has less fear of that culture.
task response
Your second main point is not fully clear. Saying that tourism can remove “wrong” traditions may sound too strong. Focus on respect, shared learning, and fewer false ideas instead.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order is good, but some sentences do not link closely to the main point. For example, the jump from better talk between people to peaceful ties between governments is too big.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer fixed link phrases. Some parts, such as “In practical terms” and “As a practical consequence”, make the writing sound less direct. Say the point in a simple way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part follow one clear path: main idea, explanation, example, and result. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear answer: you completely disagree. You keep this view from the start to the end.
task response
You give two main reasons: tourism helps people know other cultures, and it can help people see good and bad parts of culture.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words, such as “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • create tension
  • local community
  • respect local customs
  • traditional way of life
  • cross-cultural communication
  • negative impact
  • economic benefit
  • tourist behavior
  • responsible travel
  • mutual respect
  • language barrier
  • rise in prices
  • crowded places
  • friendly relationship
  • break stereotypes
  • government rules
  • tourism industry
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