IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Wild animals have no place in 21th century, so protecting them is the waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important role in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 living, but some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 they see
Linking Words
this creatures
Change the determiner
this creature
these creatures
show examples
 for granted. In
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 l'm going to support and protect
Linking Words
this wild
Change the determiner
this wild animal
these wild animals
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 as
thet
Correct your spelling
they
that
 are so important to us human beings.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 have a great value to us as they give us some money through tourism attraction. In my
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 some
animals
Use synonyms
 symbolise the greatness of my nation as we have the big 5 which include some of the strongest wild
animals
Use synonyms
. To add up , they balance the ecosystem by feeding on other
animals
Use synonyms
 which are overpopulating. We can
also
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
use
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this animal
these animals
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 as
pridatores
Correct your spelling
predators
 to control our crops and other agricultural products. These
animals
Use synonyms
 are
esssetial
Correct your spelling
essential
 as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 bring foreign currency
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
 parks and
zoo's
Change the noun form
zoos
zoo
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , it is pointless to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 because some of them are
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 dangerous to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and they even kill humans. Taking
care
Use synonyms
 of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 is wasting of
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 as they damage the environment by causing soil erosion and some will cause flooding the likes of
bevears
Correct your spelling
beavers
beverages
. taking
care
Use synonyms
 of some of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 may be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of resources as some of them need strict supper vision at all times. In conclusion,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 are very
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 to us to a greater extent as they generate money in the
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 wild parks. To a lesser
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
 it is unbenefitionally to take
care
Use synonyms
 of these creatures as they may cause harm to the people and the environment.

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language
Proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes, such as 'opion', 'important', 'poeple', 'this creatures', and 'us this animals as pridatores'.
structure
Ensure that your topic sentences clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the second paragraph could start with a clear statement about the benefits of wild animals.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific tourist attractions or wildlife parks that benefit from the presence of wild animals.
critical thinking
Consider discussing alternative solutions for managing dangerous animals rather than dismissing all wild animals as a threat.
structure
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion and sets the stage for discussion.
content
You mentioned both the positive and negative aspects of wildlife, demonstrating critical thinking on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • resilience
  • habitats
  • conservation
  • ecological services
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • carbon sequestration
  • urbanization
  • stewards
What to do next:
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