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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ regarding whether it is better for
people
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 to accept a bad situation or to try and improve
such
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situations
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. I contend that
people
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 should strive to improve their circumstances, as
this
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 proactive attitude often leads to growth and unexpected
success
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. The fear of failure may be a compelling factor that accounts for why some
people
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 argue that bad
situations
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 should simply be accepted. In today's competitive world, many individuals are eager to achieve
success
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 and present their perfect lives on social media. For them, failure—
such
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 as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money—represents a loss of advantage in competing with their peers.
Moreover
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, failure may
also
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 lead to unpredictable outcomes.
For instance
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, bankruptcy can leave individuals confused and helpless, uncertain about how to recover and return to a stable life.
Nevertheless
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, accepting difficulties without attempting to change them may result in stagnation. Challenging
situations
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,
on the other hand
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, often provide opportunities to push beyond one’s limitations.
For example
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, Walt Disney, the founder of the renowned Disney corporation, went bankrupt after his first company collapsed
due to
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 poor management and financial issues.
However
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, he did not surrender to despair;
instead
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, he worked tirelessly to establish a new company that eventually became a global entertainment giant.
This
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 story underscores the fact that setbacks, when confronted with determination, can become stepping stones to
success
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. In conclusion,
although
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 failure may be terrifying and difficult to overcome, I firmly support the notion that
people
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 should not merely accept bad
situations
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. By bravely facing challenges and striving to improve them, individuals can achieve levels of
success
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 they might never have imagined.

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task
State your main view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in mind as you argue.
task
Use one strong example and explain how it backs your point, but keep it short and clear.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins like and, but, so, also, for example.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use clear order so readers can follow.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation to avoid long, hard-to-read lines.
strength
The essay shows a clear view and a two-side discussion.
strength
Good use of linking words to move from idea to idea.
strength
Conclusion restates position clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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