In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

Nowadays, many

people

leave their hometowns to move to metropolitan

cities

in many countries. Some

people

believe that it will provide benefits others do not. From my perspective,

this

population movement can cause drawbacks rather than positives.

This

essay will account for why it can bring negatives by giving examples.

To begin

with, a balance in population distribution is a necessity for countries and

also

for the public.

People

can prefer to reside in the city to reach everything easily or job opportunities, it can inspire some economic and social predicaments,

however

For instance

, enormous immigration from villages to

cities

generates chaotic structures in the

cities

Moreover

such

as health care, security forces, and necessities may be inadequate

due to

overpopulation.

Secondly

this

population movement can negatively

affected

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

not only

cities

but

also

the countryside. Leaving the countryside can impact agricultural production. When

people

live in the

cities

, they must work in other sectors

such

as companies, and services. In

this

way, it can be seen that a decreasing the production of agricultural products

as well as

livestock raising.

On the other hand

, it can provide a workforce for

cities

. Today there are plenty of companies and departments in the city that need

people

to work.

This

movement can bridge between employees and hirers.

To sum up

, even if many

people

believe that residing and working in a city can bring many positives I strongly believe that keeping up balance and providing production in the countryside bring many advantages for

people

and the economy.

Submitted by serab.5091 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

Work on making your main points clearer and more distinct. Each main idea should be fully developed in its own paragraph with specific details and examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader from one point to the next.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

supported main points

You provide relevant points and examples to support your main argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent you do agree or disagree?

In today's world many people own a smartphone . Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Academic- Task 1 The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.