IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, different animal species are endangered.
While
Linking Words
 in some situations the fault is related to human activities, in others
extinctions
Use synonyms
 are natural processes. Some people believe it is impossible to stop these
last
Linking Words
 ones, just nature has
this
Linking Words
 power. I firmly believe in
nature
Change noun form
nature's
show examples
 power,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 science and technology are the keys
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, and they have already proved what they are capable of.
Extinctions
Use synonyms
 started before
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race. One of the first memorable
extinction
Fix the agreement mistake
extinctions
show examples
 of history is the
dinosaurs
Fix the agreement mistake
dinosaur
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Today we know almost everything about
dinosaurs
Change noun form
dinosaurs'
dinosaur's
show examples
 extinction,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there still are several theories. We know that there could be different events that contributed to
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 in danger an animal
specie
Fix the agreement mistake
species
show examples
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 catastrophic happenings - like a meteorite - or just climate changes - like a glacial era.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, even if the topic is extremely complicated,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 might be able to prevent
extinctions
Use synonyms
. Science and technology have already proved to be able to stop natural processes.
For example
Linking Words
, after numerous
reaserch
Correct your spelling
research
, doctors and scientists have found treatments for cancer,
Alzhaimer
Correct your spelling
Alzheimer
, and SLA, and every day they improve them thanks to new discoveries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, scientists are even able to control the weather! In Dubai, they have found a way to make it rain when the environment needs more water, in
drought
Correct article usage
the drought
show examples
 period.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some natural processes,
such
Linking Words
 as
extinctions
Use synonyms
, are difficult to control.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, people believe that we do not need to stop these events.
While
Linking Words
 I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
 statement, I'm
also
Linking Words
 aware of science power. We should use
this
Linking Words
 powerful instrument to create a better world, even saving an animal if
this
Linking Words
 helps.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction presents your position clearly, but could be more engaging and specifically outline your main arguments. Consider rephrasing for clarity and impact.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of logical structure, your ideas are mostly organized, but the transition between points could be smoother. Try using clearer topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
It's great that you provide examples, but ensure that they are directly linked to your argument about preventing extinctions. Some examples felt slightly disconnected from the main topic.
content
Your essay demonstrates a thoughtful reflection on the balance between natural processes and human intervention, showcasing a nuanced understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: