IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is often said that
music
 has the power to unite and connect
people
, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with
this
 view
,
Remove the comma
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 and will give my reasons below.
Music
 can certainly reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring
people
 together. Perhaps the best example of
this
 would be the Live Aid concerts that took place back in the 1980s, and which were broadcast to a global audience. Two live events were held simultaneously in the UK and the US, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. The concerts were a huge success, both in terms of the number of
people
 around the world who watched them and their impact on international public awareness of the famine. They demonstrated, I believe, that
music
 truly is the planet’s global language. Just as it transcends cultures,
music
also
 has the ability to connect
people
 from different generations. Regardless of age, we can all enjoy a memorable melody, a strong rhythm or a beautiful singing voice, and the best songs seem to have the same magical effect on all of us.
This
 would explain why televised
music
 competitions,
such
 as ‘The X Factor’ or ‘The Voice’, are
such
 popular prime-time shows. These programmes attract incredibly broad audiences because singing and popular songs appeal to children, parents and grandparents alike. I would argue that no other form of entertainment can bring families together in
this
 way. In conclusion, I believe that
music
 is unique in its capacity to create shared experiences between
people
, irrespective of culture and age.

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task achievement
Fantastic work on answering the task question directly and comprehensively. Your viewpoint is clear, and it's rationalised throughout the essay. You've provided effective examples that substantiate your arguments. Always ensure you maintain this consistency in future responses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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