There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Youngsters are getting

pressurized

Verb problem

pressured

show examples

to be successful in future by getting

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

education . That leads

Change preposition

to a

show examples

different thought in society . Many folk

suggests

Correct subject-verb agreement

suggest

show examples

to eliminate

Change the verb form

eliminating

show examples

extra curriculum

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities

such

Linking Words

as sports ,

Art

Fix the agreement mistake

Arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

,music and home science in order to put more focus on actual subjects ( English, Mathematics, chemistry). I do not agree with the above . In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will highlight the limitations of the point mentioned

along with

Linking Words

some suitable illustrations from my past . First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

students

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

practical knowledge if they are being taught with extra curriculum activities . They gain more confidence as they

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

to interact more during these classes . They will not become

a bookworms

Correct the article-noun agreement

a bookworm

bookworms

show examples

Linking Words

Otherwise

Add a comma

Otherwise,

show examples

studies

Use synonyms

will boring and

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

will not get any

encougement

Correct your spelling

encouragement

. He will not have any second option in life if he is weak in

Use synonyms

studies

Correct pronoun usage

his studies

show examples

This

Linking Words

might

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to suicides as they are not able to crack competitive exams and

left

Add a missing verb

are left

show examples

with no paths in future.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

studies

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

other subjects

along with

Linking Words

academics will enhance their career opportunities. In today's society,no job is small . It's just your interest and capabilities that make you more successful in certain

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

. To run

this

Linking Words

world , we need people from every field .

For example

Linking Words

, Virat Kohli might not be good in

Use synonyms

studies

Correct pronoun usage

his studies

show examples

but he is successful in cricket and earning good

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

even her wife Anushka Sharma in one

Correct your spelling

show examples

her

interview

Fix the agreement mistake

interviews

show examples

mentioned that she was very poor in

studies

Use synonyms

but was more interested in acting and you can see her popularity today .

To conclude

Linking Words

definitely

Add a comma

definitely,

show examples

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

fields are equally essential to reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

heights in life . They can get more achievements in other areas that can make them top

painter

Fix the agreement mistake

painters

show examples

, top

chef

Fix the agreement mistake

chefs

show examples

and so on.

Study

Wrong verb form

Studying

show examples

other than academics can make a child extrovert and open to the world .

prabhjotkaurgill08Thu Apr 17 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Transitions between ideas could be smoother for better flow.

task achievement

Provide more developments or elaboration on your points. Some ideas can be expanded to give a deeper understanding.

language

Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to improve overall language use and make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

You presented a clear stance against removing non-academic subjects which gives your essay a definitive position.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma, are relevant and effectively illustrate your point about success in non-academic fields.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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