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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, there is a growing emphasis on creating inclusive educational environments that cater to diverse learners.How can school curricula be modified to provide equal learning opportunities for all students? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays there is increasing importance given to fostering a unique and inclusive environment in order to make the educational process equal for every student. I absolutely believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. There are many ways to reach opportunities and equality among peers, and one of the most profound solutions is to give the same educational instruments in the classes.
For example
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, by providing gadgets and technologies for academic goals as PCs or laptops for those students who do not have them.
As a result
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, students will be able to learn and search for anything regardless of their financial stability.
Hence
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, the same opportunities will be introduced for every learner. The problem is that the lack of
such
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 devices becomes a big obstacle for some learners to do well in academics.
For instance
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,
according to
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 Harvard’s case study scholars with laptops did 3 times better than those who have not.
Therefore
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, there is a huge gap that must be filled to reach sameness among peers by implementing
such
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 modifications. A minority may be concerned about putting emphasis only on reaching equality, not evolving academic curricula which might stop the development of education.
However
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,
this
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 mindset should be refuted because
although
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 the
overall
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 curriculum will not gradually and exponentially progress, there is still substantial effort to education, because there is a vast of scholars who are struggling
due to
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 scholarly opportunities inequality. In fact, by solving that conundrum administration makes the educational performance of class stably increase.
Overall
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, providing instruments for students is the key way to reach equality among classmates, and only by coping with injustice in the school’s curriculum education will prosper.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your points more robustly.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentence structures for clarity and variety to enhance engagement.
task achievement
You address the need for equality in education effectively, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a logical argument regarding the importance of providing educational tools.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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