IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say they want the state to invest effort in researching for
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that others would argue about
this
Linking Words
 idea saying it is a waste of resources, and nowadays on
Use synonyms
Earth
Add a comma
Earth,
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 there are so many issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that
although
Linking Words
 there are valid concerns regarding losing money in
this
Linking Words
 research, the
overall
Linking Words
 benefits of looking for
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
 far outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, some people think researching for
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
 is a waste of public money.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is commonly believed that there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no
life
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planets
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besides
Linking Words
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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, many people think
this
Linking Words
 way because there is no solid evidence yet to prove that
life
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 exists
elsewhere
Linking Words
 in the universe.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists have discovered plants with similar
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 to
Earth
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,
such
Linking Words
 as water and a stable temperature range.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a few people say they want governments to spend resources on
seareching
Correct your spelling
searching
 for
life
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 on other
planets
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. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that finding
a new plants
Correct the article-noun agreement
new plants
a new plant
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 livable is so important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity, and it has
planty
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings.
For instance
Linking Words
, if scientists find a plant that can support human
life
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, it could serve as a backup location in case of
earth
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become
Wrong verb form
becomes
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 unlivable,
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate change. In conclusion, governments need to invest in research to find
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new planet
new planets
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planets
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 that might serve the human race for a long time. In my opinion, finding
a livable
Correct the article-noun agreement
livable planets
a livable planet
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planets
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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must be the main goal for all the governments in the world.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more concise. Try to directly state your opinion in the introduction to make it stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow between your ideas. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Watch out for small grammatical errors (e.g., 'a new planets' should be 'new planets', 'seareching' should be 'searching', and 'the humanity' should be 'humanity'). Proofreading can help avoid these mistakes.
task achievement
You presented both views effectively and articulated a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-written essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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