Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (KLL)

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Some humans give opinions that advertising is drastically great at convincing us to purchase goods. Other individuals have thoughts that advertising is so simple that we do not pay attention to it anymore.
This
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essay will talk about both of them and I will share my assumptions.
The first
Correct article usage
First
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and foremost,
advertisements
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are a perfect section for encouraging
people
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to buy commodities. Humans observe
advertisements
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to analyse products that
they
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apply
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do not have any disruptions.
Furthermore
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, society can get different promotions with these
advertisements
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.
For example
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, Recently, PlayRoom which is one of the most popular PlayStation clubs
of
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in
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Baku announced that
people
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who
will
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apply
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come to
this
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club will get
20
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a 20
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% discount to use the cabinet.
On the other hand
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, citizens can be exhausted
to see
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from seeing
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advertisements
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because almost all
advertisements
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offer similar advantages. Discounts, buying one getting more trends are not passionable now.
Additionally
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,
people
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think that in the
advertisements
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the real products are able to be shown differently. Their sizes, features and these types of things can be varied with advertising. Humans are able to be
misleaded
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misled
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via
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by
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this
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kind of
attempts
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attempt
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.
For example
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, KFC shows their goods huge
in
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on
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billboards, but even their sizes can be half of fake products. In conclusion, every person has own perspective
about
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on
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advertising.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
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can think that advertising has a useful effect pulling
people
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to goods, but some individuals are able to have opinions that advertising
do
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does
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not play an important role
to attract
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in attracting
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people
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. From my perspective,
advertisements
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are beneficial to be aware of new trends, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can cause some misleading factors which can be reasons to not believe
advertisements
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.

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Language
Some phrases can be simplified for clarity, such as 'drastically great' which could be replaced with 'very effective'.
Coherence
Try to vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and maintain the reader's interest.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your examples are well explained and directly support your arguments, as some examples could be clearer in relation to the point being made.
Structure
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your argument.
Task Achievement
You have provided arguments for both sides of the discussion, which is essential for this type of essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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