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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries the cost of living is rising. What are the effects on individuals and society? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

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The soaring cost of living in the majority of nations is worsening day by day.
While
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this
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 perpetuates insecurity incidences in society, the government can establish the production sector to boost the rate of locally manufactured goods. First and foremost, inflation affects the ability of citizens to afford basic needs
such
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 as food, clothing and shelter.
Moreover
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, it becomes an uphill struggle for folks who live from hand to mouth to feed their families or to make ends meet.
For instance
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, a study done in the UK post-Covid pandemic showed that 21% of the population could not afford food.
Such
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 a situation compels people to search for an alternative in order to survive the harsh conditions.
Therefore
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, smuggling, pickpocketing and robbery become the order of the day
thus
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 increasing the incidents of insecurity.
For example
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, a recent study conducted in Mathare Slums revealed that the region's crime rate accounted for 90% of the total proportion in the whole country.
However
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, the government can play a vital role in curbing
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, the state can allocate adequate funds for industrialization as it would promote more production of goods. In turn,
this
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 would not only create employment for youths but
also
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 lower the prices of items and services.
Moreover
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, the expenses involved in importation would be substantially reduced because goods would be locally available.
For instance
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, when a nut processing factory was set up in my county four months ago, many residents secured jobs
thus
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 enabling them to make an income.
Furthermore
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, the rate of idling significantly declined as people were busy working. In conclusion, with an expensive economy humans suffer the most because life becomes hard
hence
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 increasing the level of insecurity.
On the other hand
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, the government can help to deal with
this
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 issue,
for example
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, by promoting the manufacturing sector.

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task achievement
Consider including more diverse examples to support your arguments, as a variety of examples can strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you clearly connect and transition between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be expanded to briefly mention the effects and measures in an overview manner.
task achievement
You effectively identified the effects of rising costs of living and the government measures that can be taken.
coherence and cohesion
The essay displays logical progression with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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