IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

It is observed that many
countries
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 in the
world
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 are economically rich but, at the same time, not environment friendly. As per various reports, the
carbon
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 emission per person in developed
countries
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 is found to be much higher than that in developing
countries
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, which may have led to
impression
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the impression
show examples
 that economic progress is not possible without impacting our environment.
This
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 essay will delineate both perspectives, ultimately contending that it is possible for
countries
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 to be both developed and environmentally friendly at the same time. Developed
countries
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 around the
world
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 have made significant economic progress
due to
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 rapid industrialisation in the
last
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 two centuries, leading to massive consumption of oil, gas, and other fossil fuels, which led to
belief
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the belief
a belief
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 that economic development and high
carbon
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 footprint go hand in hand. When industrialization started, the impact on the environment was not severe as there
were
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was
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 rare usage of products
such
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 as automobiles and vehicles, but in the
last
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 few decades,
due to
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 continuous innovations leading to low prices of goods, and ever-increasing income levels across the
world
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, the usage of products
such
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 as
as
Remove the redundancy
apply
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cars and gadgets increased
precipitiously
Correct your spelling
precipitously
, leading to significant
polllution
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pollution
 levels and high
carbon
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 footprint.
This
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 gave
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 impression that financial progress and
envionment
Correct your spelling
environment
environmental
 impact go together.
However
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, nations and international organisations have realised the folly of
such
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growth
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.
Due to
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 increased environmental impact,
countries
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 across the
world
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 are taking steps to use green technologies to achieve
growth
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 without impacting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. Clean fuel technologies
hae
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have
 evolved and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a mature stage, making them economically viable.
For example
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, solar power cost has come at par with
cost
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the cost
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 of power generated by polluting oil and gas, and
similarly
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, electric cars are getting popular day by day everywhere fueled by innovations led by companies,
such
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 as
Testla
Correct your spelling
Tesla
 and BYD.
Consequently
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,
countries
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 have set a target to be
carbon
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 neutral by 2050 as per
Paris
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the Paris
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 climate agreement, and many of them are on their way to
achieve
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achieving
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 it. In summary, there is
an increasing evidence
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increasing evidence
a piece of increasing evidence
a shred of increasing evidence
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 that
economical
Replace the word
economic
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growth
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 is feasible without the deleterious effects on our nature. Noval greener technologies are not only protecting our planet but
also
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 fostering innovation and
growth
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 at
same
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the same
show examples
 time, leading to financial prosperity around the
world
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to improve the overall language quality.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct minor typographical errors (e.g., 'Testla' should be 'Tesla') and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'precipitiously', 'polllution', 'Noval').
task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints in a balanced manner, which shows good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples used, such as solar power and electric cars, effectively illustrate the argument that economic growth and environmental concerns can coexist.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the argument and reinforces the main point of the essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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