IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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There is no denying the fact that the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the roads is increasing rapidly.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
this
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 number will continue to rise in the future, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that in twenty years there will be fewer
cars
Use synonyms
 in
use
Use synonyms
 than there are today.
To begin
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 with, many countries are working hard to improve public transportation.
In other words
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, trains, buses, and metro systems are becoming faster, cheaper, and more comfortable.
In addition
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, governments are encouraging
people
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 to
use
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 bikes or walk
instead
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 of driving.
For example
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, some cities have added more bike lanes and walking areas to make transportation safer and easier without
cars
Use synonyms
. Another point to be considered is that
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more aware of environmental issues. It is
also
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 possible to say that using fewer
cars
Use synonyms
 will help reduce air pollution and climate change.
Moreover
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, technology is moving forward quickly, and self-driving electric
cars
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 and ride-sharing apps may reduce the need for every person to own a car.
For instance
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, in many cities,
people
Use synonyms
 already prefer to
use
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 Uber, Careem, or other car-sharing services
instead
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 of buying their own
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
To sum up
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, despite
people
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 having different points of view, I believe that the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 in
use
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 will decrease in the next twenty years. Improvements in public transport, environmental concerns, and new technology will help reduce our dependence on private
cars
Use synonyms
 and lead to cleaner, more efficient cities.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and supports it with relevant points. However, consider elaborating more on how public transportation improvements specifically relate to a decrease in car usage.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance clarity, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Great use of examples, especially in discussing ride-sharing services. However, adding a specific statistic or study about car ownership trends could strengthen your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion that reiterates the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and illustrate your points well, particularly in the context of alternatives to personal car ownership.
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