Some people say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The importance of
sports
Use synonyms
is significant in today's society.
However
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, there are predominantly two contrasting views. One section of society claims that the effect of outdoor athletics provides higher motivation in society,
while
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others emphasise that it is just a spare time activity. I largely believe that
sports
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play a crucial role in our communities. Apparently, many people argue that
sports
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should be considered as a hobby, which only helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
In other words
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, numerous schoolgoers and corporate employees are involved in outdoor games to harness their physical and mental health.
For example
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, it has been shown that individuals who perform physical activities on a daily routine helps them to gain health benefits including low blood pressure, increased stamina and flexibility. Despite
this
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, I believe that sport is the main ingredient to building social values. On the other side, the contribution of
sports
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in our communities is more than a healthy routine or leisure time activity, I say that athletics often connect the masses and spread a sense of nationalism.
This
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is because
,
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apply
show examples
such
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games are highly influencing team spirit and group efforts,
this
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strategies in sporting events accelerate bonding among the players which helps to connect the crowd beyond their financial background or race.
For example
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, during the FIFA World Cup or the Olympics, people from diverse communities come together to support their national teams, creating a shared sense of pride and unity that transcends social and economic boundaries. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
sports
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are often considered a healthy lifestyle and leisure activity, but the involvement of outdoor activities in societies is indeed too great, it provides equality among the masses which is essential for social development.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively presents both viewpoints and states your opinion clearly. However, try to provide a brief overview of the main points you will discuss in the essay to give readers a clearer roadmap.
Coherence and Cohesion
The flow of your ideas is generally good, but some transitions could be smoother. Consider using clearer linking words or phrases to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
While you provide solid examples, ensuring that they are integrated more seamlessly into your argument will strengthen your points. Try to detail how each example directly supports your claims.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples, such as the FIFA World Cup and Olympics, effectively illustrates your points and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You present a strong conclusion that reiterates your main argument and emphasizes the societal benefits of sports, showing clear critical thinking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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