In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Now, in the modern trade world, the way of selling has completely changed from the past. After the pandemic, online shopping is the new alternative for customers. In my opinion, I think it is a positive development for many reasons. In
this
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essay, I will describe my opinion and the reason to support my idea.
Firstly
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, shopping online is game-changing for entrepreneurs , especially in the Small-Medium economy. Some entrepreneurs utilise online platforms to enhance their selling and marketing effectively.
For example
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, In the modern world of marketing; some marketers and shop owners are promoting their shops and goods on various social media platforms,
such
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as Facebook, TikTok and so on. Many shops sell their products online via various platforms, to save their rental budget on the real store and
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can make more profits.
However
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, online shopping might be some problematics itself,
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as the reason for trustworthiness. Some customers want to see or try the real stuff to make a decision on their purchase. I think brands should provide both online and offline stores, it will gain a trustworthy brand and expand consumer's needs.
Moreover
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, there are some products that cannot be sold online depending on their usage or age limit,
such
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as medicine, weapons and so on.
To sum up
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, I think online shopping is a positive improvement in
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era.
Nevertheless
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, offline stores can increase a brand's trustworthiness and authenticity.
On the other hand
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, online shopping can be accessed easily and both channels have different prominents.

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Task Achievement
Consider making your thesis statement more explicit, as it sets a clearer direction for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to transition smoothly between ideas, especially when presenting contrasting viewpoints, to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify certain ambiguous phrases, such as 'some problematics' which could be more precisely expressed.
Task Achievement
You provided a relevant personal viewpoint and examples of online shopping's impact on entrepreneurs, which enriches your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing has a logical structure with clear paragraphs that each introduce a distinct idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled convenience
  • remote areas
  • wide range of products
  • broad selection
  • price comparison
  • customer satisfaction
  • value for money
  • impact on local businesses
  • economic diversity
  • job losses
  • environmental implications
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • data privacy
  • cybersecurity
  • personal data
  • tactile shopping experience
  • immediate gratification
  • physically examined
  • robust measures
  • consumer information
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