Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Society is made of many

people

Use synonyms

living together. To live together in peace, we need

rules

Use synonyms

and

laws

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. Without them,

people

Use synonyms

could do anything they want, and

this

Linking Words

can be very dangerous. I agree that

laws

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are important, but I

also

Linking Words

believe

people

Use synonyms

should have some

freedom

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too.

Rules

Use synonyms

help keep everyone safe.

For example

Linking Words

, traffic

laws

Use synonyms

help stop car accidents. If there were no traffic

rules

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, many

people

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would get hurt.

Laws

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

stop crimes like stealing or hurting others.

This

Linking Words

helps

people

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feel safe in their homes and in public.

Rules

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

make life fair. In school, there are

rules

Use synonyms

so students can study without problems. In jobs,

rules

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help workers know what to do. These

laws

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and

rules

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make sure that

people

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are treated in a good way. Without

rules

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, some

people

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might be treated badly or unfairly.

However

Linking Words

, if there are too many

rules

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, life can feel very hard.

People

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also

Linking Words

need

Use synonyms

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to make their own choices.

For example

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people

Use synonyms

should be free to choose their clothes, their religion, and their job. If the government controls everything,

people

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will not be happy. In my opinion, a good society needs both

rules

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and

freedom

Use synonyms

Rules

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are important to keep order and safety, but

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

need the right to live their own way. The best society has a good balance between

laws

Use synonyms

and personal

freedom

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

makes life better for everyone.

muzun0612Sat Apr 19 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider using linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, which will help improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

To strengthen your arguments, provide more detailed examples and expand on each point. This will also help show the depth of your understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

task achievement

You present a balanced viewpoint on the importance of rules and personal freedom, which is a thoughtful argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing •describe your suitability for this area of work •say when you can attend an interview

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?