Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Society is made of many
people
Use synonyms
living together. To live together in peace, we need
rules
Use synonyms
and
laws
Use synonyms
. Without them,
people
Use synonyms
could do anything they want, and
this
Linking Words
can be very dangerous. I agree that
laws
Use synonyms
are important, but I
also
Linking Words
believe
people
Use synonyms
should have some
freedom
Use synonyms
too.
Rules
Use synonyms
help keep everyone safe.
For example
Linking Words
, traffic
laws
Use synonyms
help stop car accidents. If there were no traffic
rules
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
would get hurt.
Laws
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
stop crimes like stealing or hurting others.
This
Linking Words
helps
people
Use synonyms
feel safe in their homes and in public.
Rules
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
make life fair. In school, there are
rules
Use synonyms
so students can study without problems. In jobs,
rules
Use synonyms
help workers know what to do. These
laws
Use synonyms
and
rules
Use synonyms
make sure that
people
Use synonyms
are treated in a good way. Without
rules
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
might be treated badly or unfairly.
However
Linking Words
, if there are too many
rules
Use synonyms
, life can feel very hard.
People
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
need
Use synonyms
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to make their own choices.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
should be free to choose their clothes, their religion, and their job. If the government controls everything,
people
Use synonyms
will not be happy. In my opinion, a good society needs both
rules
Use synonyms
and
freedom
Use synonyms
.
Rules
Use synonyms
are important to keep order and safety, but
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
need the right to live their own way. The best society has a good balance between
laws
Use synonyms
and personal
freedom
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
makes life better for everyone.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, which will help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
To strengthen your arguments, provide more detailed examples and expand on each point. This will also help show the depth of your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You present a balanced viewpoint on the importance of rules and personal freedom, which is a thoughtful argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: