A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stresses. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?

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There is no doubt that the most healthy person that someone has a good
healthy
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health
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. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise
improve
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improves
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our
health
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreases
decress
Correct your spelling
decreases
the
Correct your spelling
stress
stressess
Correct your spelling
stresses
stress
and
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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sicks
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sick
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On the other hand
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, others believe that the . They
are think
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think
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that Genes play
the
Correct article usage
a
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basic in our
health
Use synonyms
not the
excersice
Correct your spelling
exercise
. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
can be seen in some people
dont practies
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don't practise
any
excersice
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exercise
they are
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
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it
Correct your spelling
is
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so
Add a missing verb
is so
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good unlike people doing the
excersie
Correct your spelling
exercise
all the time, so .
Therefore
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, it can be said that genes play
the
Correct article usage
a
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basic in
the
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apply
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life .
To conclude
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,
although
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there are convincing arguments on both sides, I believe that both
effect
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affect
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in
Change preposition
apply
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our
health
Use synonyms
but rate
diffrent
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differently
. It is essential
that
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to
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care
abour
Correct your spelling
about
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating what people should do to stay healthy in your country.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and support it with examples.
task achievement
Use more precise language. Words like 'improve' and 'decrease' are good, but make sure to use the correct forms (e.g., 'exercise improves our health').
task achievement
To strengthen your arguments, you could include additional examples or statistics about health and exercise in your country.
task achievement
You started with a clear opinion, which is important for engaging the reader.
coherence and cohesion
You attempted to address different perspectives regarding health, showing critical thinking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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