IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

(2024) You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say about the concert say why you are unable to go inform how your friend can receive the ticket

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Dear David, I know it's been a
while
Linking Words
 since I wrote you a letter. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to offer you a concert ticket that I won’t be using. As you know I am a big fan of The Weekend. I bought his event ticket
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early-bird discount. The music festival is going to take place on 12th March in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 random stadium at 10:00 p.m. If I were in your shoes, I would try to go before 9:30 p.m.
This
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 concert is a special tour of The Weekend singer;
therefore
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, he will be playing a song from the “Red Light” album. Even though I had planned everything 2 months ago, my dog ended up sick at the
last
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 moment. I have to take him to the vet on the same day as the concert.
Due to
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 his habit of playing in
mud
Add an article
the mud
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 all the time, he might have been flue, which I have to take care of. If you need the entry pass, drop by
at
Change preposition
apply
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my place on 12th March before the afternoon. Because I have an appointment at the doctor’s at 12:00 p.m. Yours lovingly, Jojo

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a more engaging opening sentence to capture your friend's attention at the start of the letter.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to separate thoughts clearly within paragraphs, for example, consider discussing the reason for your inability to attend in a distinct paragraph from the concert details.
task achievement
You might want to clarify your dog’s condition, so the reader understands why this is an important situation for you.
task achievement
Maintain a warm tone throughout the letter, but ensure it aligns with the context by being slightly more formal given this is a ticket offer.
task achievement
The details about the concert are vivid and informative, making it clear why it is a special event.
coherence cohesion
The closure of the letter is warm and inviting, which contributes positively to the overall tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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