IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many contries nowdays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food producedd all over the world.

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It is obvious that one aspect of globalization is that people can easily have access to
food
Use synonyms
 imported from other countries in the
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 close to them. Personally, importing
food
Use synonyms
 from abroad for selling in supermarkets is considered a positive development. Doing so enables consumers to have more choices.
This
Linking Words
 allows the expat to reach the convenience.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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this
Linking Words
 shows the diversities that reflect the expansion of the global population around the world.
Further
Linking Words
 details are to be deliberated in the following.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, imported
food
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 increases the range of options and
also
Linking Words
 the diversity of nutrition. Some kinds of
food
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 are good for our bodies, but able to be produced in specific places. Importing
food
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 is a development that presents the quality and
food
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 reaching that increases the life balance.
Next,
Linking Words
for
foreign
Replace the word
foreigners
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 that stay abroad, adapting to a new tradition is a hard time for them, and one of the most challenging parts is “
food
Use synonyms
”. Finding or producing traditional
food
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the opposite side of the world is almost impossible, but the raising of imported
food
Use synonyms
 in supermarkets vanishes all the trouble.
Foreign
Replace the word
Foreigners
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 can live happily without abandoning their own identity.
Also
Linking Words
, the rising amount of imported
food
Use synonyms
 from abroad is the index that indicates the varieties of race in that
country
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.
For example
Linking Words
 “
ChinaTown
Correct your spelling
Chinatown
 Yaowarat” in Bangkok, Thailand; here is one of the most
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
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 race towns in the
country
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why the tradition including
food
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 has changed.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, when importing more, the government may lose the trade balance.
This
Linking Words
 could result in
loss
Add an article
a loss
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 for those who produce
food
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 to sell in the
country
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due to
Linking Words
 the interest shifting to foreign
to foreign
Remove the redundancy
apply
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food
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 sold in the
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, imported goods are beneficial for the citizens and foreigners in the
country
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. Doing so demonstrates the better of development, making convenience wildly enabled. Even if it takes the risk of an uncontrollable and unstable
country
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 to benefit, having the imported goods
is creating
Wrong verb form
creates
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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diversities
Replace the word
diversity
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 and population life quality though.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph, ensuring that each point is well supported with examples and explanations.
coherence
Ensure a clearer logical flow between your ideas and paragraphs. Use linking phrases to enhance the connection between points.
coherence
Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity to enhance the overall quality of your writing. Pay attention to spelling and punctuation errors.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, arguing in favor of importing food from abroad.
task achievement
There are some relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of 'ChinaTown Yaowarat' in Bangkok.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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