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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the changes
took
Correct pronoun usage
that took
show examples
 place in the museum over the years,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 between 2010 and 2013.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the domain of the museums almost doubled, with new sections added and
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
 disappearing. In the year of 2010,
this
Linking Words
 place was a much greener area with a large number of trees in the garden next to the museum.
However
Linking Words
, during the next three years, it saw numerous changes. The most noticeable is that
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 was demolished and made way for
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of the museum. The upper room for
this
Linking Words
 new section was designed to display mammals, with human origins
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
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 just beneath it and adjacent to the middle of the wall. At the underside of the section, a new shop was opened
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the left corner,
while
Linking Words
 the right corner was occupied by a cafe.
While
Linking Words
 the
dinosaurs
Change noun form
dinosaur's
dinosaurs'
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 room and lobby just remained the same,
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
 hall above
lobby
Correct article usage
the lobby
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expanded
Add a missing verb
was expanded
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 in 2013. To the left of
ocean hall
Correct your spelling
Ocean Hall
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, the sector
used
Correct pronoun usage
that used
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 to be
mammals
Correct article usage
the mammals
show examples
 exhibition was
then
Linking Words
 turned into
ice
Correct article usage
an ice
show examples
 age section
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
insects
Change the noun form
insect
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 collections just at the bottom right corner.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "display" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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