Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the caregivers of overweight kids must face punishment because they make them obese.
This
essay disagrees with that statement since genetics impact the children's weight and caregivers spend relatively little time monitoring their kids. Genetic DNA characteristics contribute to various features of our body. DNA is a series of codes that decide what are the physical or mental skills that we are going to inherit from our ancestors; varying from intelligence all the way to hair colour, and certainly including our body shapes and variable rates of metabolism.
For instance
, if both the father and the mother are lean,
then
most probably their children will
also
be the same because these genes have been transferred to the baby cells. The calculation works in the opposite way as well, a recent study concluded that if one of the original parents is fat,
then
at least half of the newborn babies will be prone to obesity. So, even if these genes are coming from the parents, they actually have no real control over it, and
hence
, they do not deserve to hold any consequences regarding that. Many caregivers are employees and do not have a satisfying amount of time to supervise the daily meals. Being a working mother or a working father means that you will consume a minimum of eight hours of your day out of home, and
therefore
, your daughter or your son will have at least two meals alone.
Moreover
, during
this
time period, kids are usually at school or daycare services,
in other words
, they are exposed to more junk
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
without having parental supervision. A good example would be one of my classroom colleagues, as I remember, her mom used to give her lunch boxes filled with vegetables and fat-free sandwiches.
However
,
this
girl never ate her foodstuff and would throw it to the birds
instead
. She would rather buy deep-fried potatoes from the canteen.
Thus
, the unhealthy amount of cooking intake is mainly the child's decision , not the parents’ responsibility. In conclusion,
while
the parents might have the authority to direct their children's lifestyle, they still can not fully prevent them from reaching for sugary or fatty snacks,
in addition
to the important factor of the DNA impact that limits the tangible weight monitoring.
Submitted by makahlehaseel on

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state your main argument without ambiguity. Ensure that your position is presented clearly throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure needs to have a clearer progression. Use paragraphing effectively to separate thoughts or ideas, which will enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a wider range of relevant examples and evidence. Relying on personal anecdotes is insufficient; broadening your scope will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be sure to address the prompt fully. While you did provide a response, it would benefit from a more in-depth exploration of the reasons why parents should not be punished, as well as a brief consideration of the other point of view, even if you disagree with it. This allows your essay to offer a more nuanced argument, engaging with the prompt fully.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
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